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Tiger-Eyes
25th April 2008, 09:18 AM
Fred and Mary get married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go
back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together.
In the morning Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his
breakfast.
As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if
Fred and Mary are up yet.
She replies, 'No'.
Johnny asks, 'Do you know what I think?'
His mom replies, 'I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to
school.'
Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, 'Are Fred and Mary up
yet?'
She replies, 'No.'
Johnny says, 'Do you know what I think?'
His mom replies, 'Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and get
back to school.'
After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, 'Are Fred and Mary up
yet?'
His mom says, 'No.'
He asks, 'Do you know what I think?'
His Mom replies, 'Ok, do tell me -- what you think?'
He says: 'Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think
I gave him my airplane glue.'

Tiger-Eyes
25th April 2008, 09:43 AM
A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.
'Mom', he asked, 'Are these my brains?'
'Not yet,' she replied.

Mongoose39uk
25th April 2008, 07:09 PM
Child Support

FATHER: "When you go back to your Mom's tonight, give her this envelope. Tell her that since you are now 18, this is the LAST check she'll ever see from me for child support. Then stand back and watch the expression on her face."

DAUGHTER: "Okay."

(LATER)

DAUGHTER: "Mom, Dad asked me to give you this envelope. He said to tell you that, since I'm now 18, this is the LAST child support payment he'll ever have to make to you. Now, I'm supposed to stand back and watch the expression on your face."

MOTHER: "Next time you visit your father, tell him that, after 18 years, I have decided to inform him that he's not your father. Then stand back and watch the expression on HIS face!

t.a.folk
2nd May 2008, 06:24 PM
:D :D :D
Oh boy I needed those 3 laughs
Thanks

dannable
9th May 2008, 11:04 AM
Woo hoo! It's Friday! And what's more, I've got next week off so I might find time to go and find the odd cache or two!

An old woman walks out of a toilet in a shopping centre and tells a blonde, a brunette and red that there is a mirror in the toilets that if you say the truth about something whatever you ever wanted comes true. But if you lie you get sucked into the mirror and go to oblivion.
So they all get excited and rush into the toilets.

The brunette gets to the mirror first and says "I think that i am the most beautiful person in here!" Bags and bags of cash came out and she went away.

The red head was the next to the mirror and she said " I think I am the most intelligent person in this room." and a BMW popped out the mirror and she drove away.

The blonde came to the mirror and said " I think...." and immediately got sucked into the mirror!

ClareLouise
27th May 2008, 10:17 AM
He he he!

keehotee
20th June 2008, 03:29 PM
http://i149.photobucket.com/albums/s44/keehotee/Evolucin_del_asalto_a_mano_armada.jpg

keehotee
23rd June 2008, 08:42 AM
A lot of people can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in this country.
Well, the answer is very simple.
Like a lot of folk, nobody bothered to check the oil.
So we just didn't know we were getting low.
The reason for this is purely geographical.

Our OIL is located in The North Sea

Our DIPSTICKS are located in Westminster!!!

Any Questions ???

NO?

I didn't think so!!

Bill D (wwh)
23rd June 2008, 12:57 PM
Sounds about right, Tim...! :D

And nope, no questions...:p