Thanks Thanks:  0
Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: It's Friday

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Norfolk
    Posts
    304

    Default

    Fred and Mary get married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go
    back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together.
    In the morning Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his
    breakfast.
    As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if
    Fred and Mary are up yet.
    She replies, 'No'.
    Johnny asks, 'Do you know what I think?'
    His mom replies, 'I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to
    school.'
    Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, 'Are Fred and Mary up
    yet?'
    She replies, 'No.'
    Johnny says, 'Do you know what I think?'
    His mom replies, 'Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and get
    back to school.'
    After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, 'Are Fred and Mary up
    yet?'
    His mom says, 'No.'
    He asks, 'Do you know what I think?'
    His Mom replies, 'Ok, do tell me -- what you think?'
    He says: 'Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think
    I gave him my airplane glue.'

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Norfolk
    Posts
    304

    Default

    A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.
    'Mom', he asked, 'Are these my brains?'
    'Not yet,' she replied.

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Jan 1970
    Posts
    0

    Default

    Child Support

    FATHER: "When you go back to your Mom's tonight, give her this envelope. Tell her that since you are now 18, this is the LAST check she'll ever see from me for child support. Then stand back and watch the expression on her face."

    DAUGHTER: "Okay."

    (LATER)

    DAUGHTER: "Mom, Dad asked me to give you this envelope. He said to tell you that, since I'm now 18, this is the LAST child support payment he'll ever have to make to you. Now, I'm supposed to stand back and watch the expression on your face."

    MOTHER: "Next time you visit your father, tell him that, after 18 years, I have decided to inform him that he's not your father. Then stand back and watch the expression on HIS face!

  4. #4

    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    South of England
    Posts
    321

    Default


    Oh boy I needed those 3 laughs
    Thanks
    We like Greens

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Leeds & York
    Posts
    13

    Default

    Woo hoo! It's Friday! And what's more, I've got next week off so I might find time to go and find the odd cache or two!

    An old woman walks out of a toilet in a shopping centre and tells a blonde, a brunette and red that there is a mirror in the toilets that if you say the truth about something whatever you ever wanted comes true. But if you lie you get sucked into the mirror and go to oblivion.
    So they all get excited and rush into the toilets.

    The brunette gets to the mirror first and says "I think that i am the most beautiful person in here!" Bags and bags of cash came out and she went away.

    The red head was the next to the mirror and she said " I think I am the most intelligent person in this room." and a BMW popped out the mirror and she drove away.

    The blonde came to the mirror and said " I think...." and immediately got sucked into the mirror!

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    West Sussex
    Posts
    1

    Default

    He he he!

  7. #7
    keehotee Guest

    Default


  8. #8
    keehotee Guest

    Default

    A lot of people can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in this country.
    Well, the answer is very simple.
    Like a lot of folk, nobody bothered to check the oil.
    So we just didn't know we were getting low.
    The reason for this is purely geographical.

    Our OIL is located in The North Sea

    Our DIPSTICKS are located in Westminster!!!

    Any Questions ???

    NO?

    I didn't think so!!

  9. #9

    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Wiltshire
    Posts
    5,520

    Default

    Sounds about right, Tim...!

    And nope, no questions...
    ​​Do not go gentle into that good night.
    Rage, rage against the dying of the light. (Dylan Thomas)​


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •