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10th September 2008, 09:30 PM
#1
An old man ...
... is overseeing his animals in a remote mountainous pasture around Longview, Alberta, when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and a YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the old guy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
Bud pushes back his hat and looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing animals and calmly answers, "Sure , Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular Bluetooth cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 15-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 animals."
"That's right," says Bud..."Well, I guess you can take one of them, then."
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the boot of his car. Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you what your business is, will you give me back my animal?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're definitely a Government man", says Bud.
"Wow! That's correct,'' says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
''No guessing required," answered the cowboy... "You
showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter you are than me; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a flock of sheep. . . Now give me back my dog."
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Last edited by Mrs Blorenge; 10th September 2008 at 09:34 PM.
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