Thanks Thanks:  0
Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 20

Thread: Camping curtesy of Cl#rks*n

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Shropshire
    Posts
    322

    Default Camping curtesy of Cl#rks*n

    Interesting news from the quagmire. Sales of tents and camping equipment are up by 40% as the credit crunch bites and families appear to ditch their annual pilgrimage to the Mediterranean.

    According to tenting enthusiasts, a fortnight in Mallorca costs a family of four about £3,000, whereas they can spend two weeks under canvas in Devon for as little as £500.

    I donít doubt this is true. But Iím not sure the comparison is relevant, because they arenít really comparing like with like. Arguing that a holiday in Mallorca is more expensive than a holiday in a field full of cow dung is the same as arguing that a Rolls-Royce Phantom is more expensive than hitchhiking.

    Tenting works well when you are in Afghanistan, fighting the Taliban, but I find it extraordinary that a family should say: ďWell. Things are tight. So letís spend our holiday this year soggy and quarrelling in a room none of us can stand up in properly.Ē

    If you are that hard up, and you are so desperate for a change, then why not simply stay at home and cut your legs off?

    Itís claimed by medical experts that we cannot remember pain, but that isnít true, because 40 years ago my parents took me on a tenting holiday on the west coast of France, and I remember every little detail of it Ė so much detail that sometimes it makes me cry.

    I remember the rain, and the way it cascaded down into the hollow where our tent was built. I remember the wind that knocked it down. I remember the Germans laughing at us. I remember the hateful food Ė mustard-encrusted salmonella entombed in the pungent aroma of Calor gas.

    I remember the soggy sleeping bags, the sloping floor, the stones that dug into my back, the lack of sleep, the arguments, the discomfort, the pain, the misery, the mosquitoes, the desperation, the homesickness and my poor little sisterís confused face asking: ďWhy have our parents done this to us?Ē

    At home we had headroom and walls. We had space. And when we wanted to go to the lavatory, we didnít have to tiptoe through the ooze to a filthy shower block full of yet more Germans with faulty bomb-aiming equipment. I can see them now if I close my eyes. All those massive Germanic *****; some not even close to the centre of the 101 bogs they had in France in those days.

    I donít doubt for a moment that it hadnít cost very much money, but even today I cannot work out why it cost anything at all. Nor can I work out why a fortnightís holiday under canvas today could possibly cost £500. Killing yourself would be so much cheaper and more pleasant.

    In every single walk of life technology has made things easier since the 1960s. We have dishwashers, computers and oven-cleaners that wipe away grime in a flash. So you might imagine tenting had come on in leaps and bounds as well.

    It hasnít. As I discovered on my trip to the North Pole, itís still an impenetrable maze of zippers, flaps, straps, exploding cookers and tent pegs that have the structural rigidity of overboiled pasta. Oh, and the skin of the modern tent is still exactly one inch smaller than the frame over which it must be stretched. This means that when you finally get it up you will have no fingernails, no wife, no children, no voice and not a shred of dignity either.

    And where will you be? In a wood? Then you wonít sleep because every noise at night, among the trees, is Freddy Krueger. In a field? Nope. You will wake up dead with a cow on your head. On a campsite? Ha. Well, then youíve really had it because women, and I have no clue why, think tenting is erotic. Which means youíre going to have to spend the night listening to a hundred wizened ramblers bouncing around on the only pole in all of tenting thatís still upright.
    "If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning."

  2. Default



    I think he's pretty close to the mark ...

    and that's why my tent's made out of tin !


    <Cue return fire from the canvas nutters>





    Life is too important to take seriously !

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Halifax, uk
    Posts
    195

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Predictable Bob View Post


    I think he's pretty close to the mark ...

    and that's why my tent's made out of tin !


    <Cue return fire from the canvas nutters>
    I work away in summer, and lived in a tin tent for the warm months (25 ft twin axle), got to say I've learnt to hate them, and bought a folding camper for weekends away.

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Shropshire
    Posts
    563

    Default

    Coming from a Scouting family, from a very young age I was regularly taken by my parents to fields in the middle of nowhere, full of long grass and cowpats, to spend my time in a house made of material, sleep on the ground and use a hole in the ground for my No1s and 2s.

    And it always rained.

    But I loved it and have been a camper/caravanner/motorhomer ever since.

    That's probably where he went wrong - once is not enough to appreciate it.
    GAGB Member since 2009
    UK Mega West Mids Committee - Treasurer 2011 - 2013
    GAGB Committee - Treasurer 2016 -

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Carterton Oxon
    Posts
    1,007

    Default

    Ah, the memories ! I was a Boy Scout in the 50's and we wore blue serge uniforms (why blue I never found out ?) shorts and Baden Powell hats that always flopped in the rain - never nice and stiff brims like the obligatory picture of BP in the scout hut. We had ex-Army Bell tents made of very stiff canvas which were sods to put up for 11 yr old boys. My Gran made me a "sleeping bag" which consisted of an old eiderdown sewn up on 3 sides ! For some reason best known to the Scout leader we always seemed to pitch the tents on the side of a hill and we were either head up hill or feet as we all had to sleep with our heads towards the pole . We had to fill hay bags to sleep on - not comfortable ! and as it was always cold and wet we put clothes ON to go to bed !Cooking over open fires and digging holes for ablutions ! I thought when I joined the Army things might get better but no - sleeping in holes in the ground half filled with water - Then the advent of the better kit - The cold weather sleeping bag (otherwise known as the Jolly green maggot)Good parkas and Goretex. Back in Civvy life SWMBO decided we would go caravanning - bought a little van - cold water only, gas lights and so small you could lay in bed and put the kettle on for tea ! = porta loo (known as bucket and chuck it)
    but we had fun and it wasn't so cold. Things evolved into what we have now a 26ft twin axle van with fixed double bed, Alde wet central heating, steerable satellite dish, motormover, microwave, and power shower ! Out all year not just summer, and some of the places we have been make mediterranean hols (crowded beaches and screaming kids) seem dreadfull by comparison - We go to a site in Snowdonia with a 360 degree panoramic view, a site in the Dales with endless quiet, just the wind in the trees and bird song. I could go on for pages - and this for the price of a caravan pitch (on small sites as little as £10 per night with an electric hook up) Put the prices on package hols down please so that THEY don't find out how great things are now (PS watch out for "Glamping") not much "roughing it" there !!!
    Si vis pacem para bellum

  6. #6

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Palujia View Post
    ... Things evolved into what we have now a 26ft twin axle van with fixed double bed, Alde wet central heating, steerable satellite dish, motormover, microwave, and power shower
    When I first read the post I thought that said motormower, I had visions of you turning up at the camp site, getting out the mower and cutting the grass on your pitch

    When I was a nipper my cousin bought a small 4 man frame tent and she planned for her first trip a week in Wales with her dad, my dad, my brother and me; my mum was adamant that we would never get her in a tent, but the day before we left the boiler at her work blew up and she was laid off for a week so she came along too. There were 6 of us in this tiny tent for a week, it was one of the best holidays we'd ever had and the weekend after we got back home we were down the camping shop and had bought our own, from then on it was camping all the way until my parents bought a tin tent.

    I don't think you can beat it!

  7. Default



    One of the most important lessons I learnt during my 22 years in the Army was "Any fool can rough it" ...

    My tin tent has a full sized bed, H&C running water, shower, toilet, blown air heating (Gas and/or electric), 4 burner hob, oven, microwave, fridge/freezer, TV, DVD, Radio and most important of all sufficient storage space for more booze than I can consume in a month - 'nuff said ?







    Life is too important to take seriously !

  8. #8

    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Carterton Oxon
    Posts
    1,007

    Default

    Just got the confirmation of our order of a new van (Lunar Clubman SB) a single axle version. This is much lighter and a bit smaller than our current twin axle. So we can keep it on the drive (no more storage fees Yipee) and help to save the planet by using less Gas (Hermione the Disco is LPG converted) Will be picking it up (hopefully) en route to the NW Mega. So memories of wet, cold and smelly canvas. lumpy hay bags and "dig it yourself" loos are disappearing !!
    Si vis pacem para bellum

  9. Default

    Good choice Paul - we were considering the Clubman SE until Jackie had an idiocy attack ...





    Life is too important to take seriously !

  10. #10

    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Carterton Oxon
    Posts
    1,007

    Default

    We looked at all the twin bed models and it came down to the Bailey Cadiz and the Lunar - The Guy at the show offered us a good deal on "Bessie" sight unseen, and there is a 5 month lead time anyway so we went ahead.
    See you at Pirate mania?
    Si vis pacem para bellum

  11. Default



    I'd like to say yes but ATM I'm not sure what I'm doing next week let alone next month ! Life's 'interesting' at the moment


    Oh yeah - it was the Clubman ES not SE !





    Life is too important to take seriously !

  12. #12

    Default

    Well, we can hardly wait to get our tin tent out of the garage! Sadly we need to wait until the spring when the weather is warmer, as our little Hylo has no heating. We do however, have a cosy bed, a teeny fridge, a teeny sink with cold water, two gas rings and a grill. Oh, and a bucket (number 1s only allowed! ). It's over 20 years old now but we love the freedom of getting out for the weekend. We always wild camp, we've never been on a campsite. We've put our favourite parking spots on our sat nav so we can always get back to them, as some of them are tucked out of the way. We save £80 a month in a special Hylo account so that we have money ready to pay for the diesel, MOT and our Saturday evening pub meal. The rest of the weekend food is cooked breakfast and picnics while caching! We can't imagine any other better weekends! :wub:
    Lang may yer lum reek. :cheers:

  13. Default



    Regretably Jackie has arthritis in her hands so winter vanning doesn't happen any more BUT by way of compensation we're nipping off to Lanzagrotty for a week - just as the weather here looks like being marvellous :wacko:





    Life is too important to take seriously !

  14. #14

    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Colchester
    Posts
    50

    Default

    I started camping in the late 60's when I met my future wife. She was a Guide Guider and quartermaster/cook and though digging the latrines was a bit of a chore the rest of the time was great.Erecting bell tents, making sleeping bags out of two blankets and a couple of safety pins, singing round the camp fire. Learning all the camp craft skills. It was an inexpensive holiday and for lots of the Guides the only holiday they got. We camped in Criccieth, Saundersfoot, Rhyl, near Preston and even once in Northern Ireland. When we worked in Zambia for three years we camped all over East Africa in a two-man nylon ridge tent. Malawi, Northern Rhodesia, Botswana,Tanzania and Kenya. We got a bit damp on the Ngorogoro crater rim but we could never have afforded the prices the Americans were paying for so called hunting lodges.We pitched our tent in Tsavo National Park and were amazed to find a pile of elephant dung next to our pick up truck the next morning. Never heard them passing by.If you start off with a good grounding in camping skills you can enjoy it for many years.

  15. Default

    While I agree with you in principle, gaining the knowledge when young is fine but http://gagb.co.uk/forums/showpost.ph...15&postcount=7





    Life is too important to take seriously !

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •