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Thread: Wise Words...

  1. #1

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    As I mentioned in The Other Place, one of the joys of this GAGB Forum are the amusing posts that appear from a certain Mr Nobbs. I am sure we all have our own favourite quips, quotes, and random pieces of advice so let's use this thread to spread the word to our Forum Friends

    I'm considering doing an embroidered sampler of this one:

    "Each of us, as he receives his private trouncings at the hands of Fate, is kept in good heart by the moth in his brother's parachute and the scorpion in his neighbour's underwear."
    (N.F. Simpson)

    MrsB

  2. #2
    Roving Rangies Guest

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    carefull Mrs Blorenge, it may make him big headed!

  3. #3
    nobbynobbs Guest

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    gosh i don'tknow what to say...other than put down the bottle i think you've had one too many!! :lol: :lol:


    "don't complai about waking up with aches all over your body. the day you wake up without them, you probably died overnight!" :

  4. #4

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    The grass isn't greener on the other side ,step over and you see it's mostly weeds .
    We like Greens

  5. #5
    nobbynobbs Guest

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    "don't try, can't fail"

    H. Simpson

  6. #6
    Rebble Guest

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    Originally posted by nobbynobbs@Nov 26 2006, 08:55 PM
    "don't try, can't fail"

    H. Simpson
    Ahhh Homer truly a philosopher for our modern times

    Quotes eh?

    Can&#39;t think of one right now <_<

  7. #7
    zaphod b Guest

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    One of my personal favourites, probably because people always seem to say to me &#39;you&#39;re quiet&#39;

    Wise men talk because they have something to say. Fools talk because they have to say something.....Plato

  8. #8
    nobbynobbs Guest

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    well i just had to include something by the late great douglas adams

    "A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools"

    :

  9. #9
    Roving Rangies Guest

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    My personal saying...

    If something doesn&#39;t work, it must have been designed by a man&#33;

    Vivien

  10. #10
    zaphod b Guest

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    ...or put together by a woman

  11. #11
    nobbynobbs Guest

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    or adjusted by a woman..... "all i di was touch that dial and suddenly it went quiet...." :lol:


    if at first you don&#39;t succeed,, get a bigger hammer. :angry:

  12. #12

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    "Sure God created man before woman, but then again you always make a rough draft before creating the final masterpiece.

  13. #13

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    little is received by a woman who won&#39;t wait

  14. #14
    Roving Rangies Guest

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    Men should always be put in thier place&#33; :P





    At the bottom of the garden in a shed&#33; :lol:

  15. #15
    nobbynobbs Guest

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    haven&#39;t you got a 4x4 to be playing with? :lol:

  16. #16
    Roving Rangies Guest

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    Originally posted by nobbynobbs@Dec 2 2006, 04:45 AM
    haven&#39;t you got a 4x4 to be playing with? :lol:
    why? do you want a sweet tuning






    What you don&#39;t get, you don&#39;t have to say "Thank You" for&#33;

  17. #17
    nobbynobbs Guest

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    think i would rather be in the position to have to say thanks than not get anything&#33;


  18. #18
    KathyXB Guest

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    I quite like this one:

    "If you are going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance&#33;"



  19. #19

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    REMEMBER there are 24 hours in a day and. . . .


















    There are 24 bottles in a case of lager :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

  20. #20
    nobbynobbs Guest

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    a wise man once said....

    "life is like a box of chocolates " unfortunately what he then said was drowned out by the noise of 1000 women fighting to get the aforementioned sweeties. h34r:

  21. #21

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    Billy Connelly: "There&#39;s no such thing as bad weather, only the wrong clothes."

  22. #22
    nobbynobbs Guest

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    when you speak to god it&#39;s called praying....

    when god speaks to you it&#39;s called psychosis. :lol:

  23. #23
    KathyXB Guest

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    "An adventure is merely an inconvenience seen in its proper perspective"

    (makes my day a series of adventures then LOL) :unsure: :lol:

  24. #24
    Roving Rangies Guest

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    Accidents don&#39;t happen, you have Happy mis-haps instead&#33;

  25. #25
    Woodchurch One Guest

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    As a brave explorer once said, "When you are up to your neck in crocodiles it is hard to remember that your first task was to drain the swamp&#33;&#33;" :huh: :huh:

  26. #26
    nobbynobbs Guest

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    don&#39;t bull***t a bulls****er :lol:

  27. #27
    Woodchurch One Guest

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    Never eat yellow snow&#33;&#33; :

  28. #28
    MCL Guest

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    It&#39;s OK to be stupid, its just stupid to STAY stupid.

  29. #29
    nobbynobbs Guest

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    if it feels good then do it and sod what the neighbours think&#33;

  30. #30

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    In the beginning there was nothing. God said, &#39;Let there be light&#33;&#39; And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.

    "Ellen DeGeneres"



    Al (It's got to be here somewhere!) Smith

    .....When you want to test the depths of a stream, don't use both feet. - Chinese Proverb

  31. #31
    nobbynobbs Guest

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    question? if there was nothing at all. then what would the difference had been before or after he said let there be light?

    with nothing to light up then surely there would be absolutely no difference? unless it&#39;s implying that there was something...a damn great big light in the sky. :unsure:

  32. #32

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    ...then there was probably a very big on/off switch :huh:

  33. #33
    nobbynobbs Guest

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    :lol: :lol: then a big sign saying do not touch.

  34. #34
    gralorn Guest

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    Every man needs a wife because things sometimes go wrong that you can&#39;t blame on the government.


    Magistrate: "And why did you park your car there?"
    Geocacher: "Well, the sign said, &#39;Fine for Parking&#33;"

    When a girl marries a hardworking young executive, the thing that she misses most after marriage is her husband.

  35. #35

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    :lol:

    (Hey&#33; Who let Gralorn in here? He&#39;s "lapsed" :P )

  36. #36
    nobbynobbs Guest

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    excellent always good to have more people here&#33; especially one so wise&#33; :lol:

  37. #37
    KathyXB Guest

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    Hey&#33; Who let Gralorn in here? He&#39;s "lapsed"
    Lapsed where? Into what?

    Looks like he has lapsed back out of unconsciousness in time to post some funnies

  38. #38

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    On Gralorn&#39;s post it says Group: Member (lapsed)

    Now, it&#39;s not for me to make any comments about a lapsed member, but I think he should be restored to full status and vigour before coming in here and making jokes about blaming wives for things that go wrong.


  39. #39

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    could you not restore it Mrs B?

  40. #40
    nobbynobbs Guest

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    maybe he&#39;s trying to return to the fold&#33;

    once here you can never really escape. :lol:

  41. #41

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    Originally posted by lost it@Jan 9 2007, 01:41 PM
    could you not restore it Mrs B?
    Me?
    No, I think such power would be beyond my grasp. &#39;Tis in the hands of the Exalted Few, those that wear the Great Hat of Power.

    I only have minor powers.


  42. #42

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    &#39;Tis done - Gralorn is restored.

    ---
    Bill

  43. #43
    Roving Rangies Guest

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    Its a miracle&#33; He is resurected&#33;

    Does he get Saint status??

  44. #44
    nobbynobbs Guest

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    there has to bea second coming for that and so far he&#39;s noted for his absence.


  45. #45

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    Just seen this one on markandlynn&#39;s signature line...

    Before eating pizza always check the olives aren&#39;t moving.

    :lol:

  46. #46
    nobbynobbs Guest

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    it&#39;s all protein&#33;&#33;&#33;&#33; :lol:

  47. #47
    Roving Rangies Guest

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    Too much information&#33;&#33;

  48. #48
    gralorn Guest

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    Lapse&#33; Charming that is and here am I with a great tip. A camping tip in fact, if you want to be like Ray Mears and make fire with two sticks, be sure one of them is a match&#33;

    Sorry....... But when it comes to eating, you&#39;ve got to hand it to Venus de Milo

    and isn&#39;t it strange that years ago most men when they finished a hard day&#39;s work needed rest. Now they join a gym as they need exercise&#33;


    The seven ages of a woman....the right age and six guesses

    Lapse&#33; .........................shocked and stunned

  49. #49
    nobbynobbs Guest

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    the right age for women?

    below 21 always add a few years.
    over 21 ALWAYS but ALWAYS take a few off when guessing&#33;&#33;&#33; :lol: really best way is to avoid the question at all costs.

    that&#39;s a question that falls into the same group as
    "does my bum look big in this?" do not look, do not pause or think...the answer is NO

    "where you looking at her?" WHO? (wrong) of coure not....(tick)

    :lol: :lol: :lol:

    by the way with my track record don&#39;t take any advice in this department from me LOL &#33;&#33;&#33;&#33;&#33;

  50. #50

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    "does my bum look big in this?" do not look, do not pause or think...the answer is NO
    Wrong&#33;&#33; look, pause, then say NO

    "where you looking at her?" WHO? (wrong) of coure not....(tick)
    If she asks this one disappear&#33;&#33;
    We like Greens

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