N = C + {fb (cm) . fb (tc)} + fb (Ts) + fc . ta, where N=force in Newtons required to break the cooked bacon, fb=function of the bacon type, fc=function of the condiment/filling effect, Ts=serving temperature, tc=cooking time, ta=time or duration of application of condiment/filling, cm=cooking method, C=Newtons required to break uncooked bacon.

According to scientists (????) at the Department of Food Science at Leeds University this is the formula for a perfect bacon sarnie.
( Scientists' 'perfect' bacon butty )

I can't believe four researchers spent more than 1,000 hours testing 700 variations on the traditional bacon sandwich - AND DIDN'T PUT A RUNNY FRIED EGG IN THERE..!!!!!!! Heathens!!!!!!!